Presently, I’ve been feeling quite good with my body, despite getting older and being challenged by life experiences, but it wasn’t always like that. To be honest, for most of my life I felt separated from my own body. I used to say sometimes that my body is the strongest obstacle in my life.
At that time I felt so comfortable within my mind, thinking, doing, reacting sharp and fast. I wasn’t even aware that I am also my body until I became sick or felt some discomfort of my physical nature. From that perspective, my body was only a problem. When this problem accrued I wanted to fix it as quickly as possible and come back to my ideal mental world without any physical disruption. It usually worked, so I could live my life for years without any or hardly any contact with my physical self – my body.
When did it change? When did I feel for the first time that my body is not a problem, even that it might be a solution?
In order that our body becomes a solution, we have to have a good relationship with it. It wasn’t the case for me at that time. For me the turning point became massage. Once I tried to find a quick solution for my tired, tensed body and I went for a massage session.
Back then, it was not that easy for me to acknowledge the needs of my body and open myself for an accepting and embracing touch. But it happened. I trusted myself and a person recommended to me by a friend. After that session, the first Lomi Lomi massage I’ve ever received, I felt not only more relaxed, and less tensed, but most of all, I felt more complete. Maybe for the first time in my life, I felt an alliance with my body. From that time my approach to my physical vessel started to change. More acceptance, gratefulness, and tender presence have appeared instead of the judgemental, demanding, and ignoring approach I had before. The more I acknowledged and accepted my body, the better our communication and relationship became. With time I learned to hear those ‘quiet whispers’ and understand better how my body works, what it needs, and how I can support my body, it better supports me back.
What is your relationship with your body? Is your body your ally, close and tender friend, or is it is your enemy, an obstacle in your way, or maybe you are not aware at all of its presence? Do you feel connected and supported by your physical vehicle, or disconnected, suppressed, or limited by it? Now, these questions are part of my practice as a bodyworker and holistic training facilitator. They appear during workshops with our students, in conversations before and after massage sessions with my clients, and above all, they are still present in my relationship with my own body.