Musings

When we think of transformation and personal development, we often imagine stepping outside our comfort zones and pushing ourselves to the limit. But there is another path that holds its own profound power: embracing gentleness and subtlety.

Have you ever wondered how these gentle approaches can facilitate deep processes of transformation, nurturing growth in a compassionate and sustainable way?

The Importance of Comfort Zones

Comfort zones refer to familiar, predictable spaces in which we feel secure and at ease. Stepping outside our comfort zones is often seen as a necessary step in personal development, as it challenges us to confront fears, overcome obstacles, and expand our capabilities. This can lead to breakthroughs and remarkable achievements. However, focusing only on pushing beyond our comfort zones we can overlook the great power of gentleness and subtlety in the transformation process. 

How Gentleness and Subtlety Nurturing Growth?

Cultivating Self-Compassion:
Gentleness invites us to be kind and understanding toward ourselves. Instead of pushing ourselves relentlessly, we can approach transformation with self-compassion. This entails recognising our strengths and limitations, embracing self-care, and acknowledging that growth is a gradual process. By nurturing ourselves gently, we create a foundation of self-acceptance and love, fostering sustainable growth.

Embracing Mindfulness
Subtlety encourages us to be fully present and attuned to the nuances of our experiences.
By practicing mindfulness, we can observe our thoughts, emotions, and sensations without judgment. This awareness allows us to recognise subtle shifts and make intentional choices aligned with our values. The gentle exploration of our inner landscape enables deeper self-reflection and transformative insights.

Building Resilience
Gentleness and subtlety allow us to build resilience in a nurturing manner. Instead of pushing ourselves to the brink of exhaustion or overwhelming stress, we can take small, manageable steps toward growth. This approach acknowledges that transformation is an ongoing journey, not a race. By celebrating small victories and gradually stretching our boundaries, we cultivate resilience and sustain long-lasting transformation.

Creating Safe Spaces
Gentleness and subtlety provide a safe and supportive environment for transformation. Pushing beyond comfort zones can be intimidating and trigger resistance. By approaching growth with gentleness, we create an atmosphere that encourages exploration, vulnerability, and self-expression. In these safe spaces, individuals are more likely to embrace transformation, as they feel seen, heard, and accepted.

Balancing Gentle Nurturing with Bold Expansion

While gentleness and subtlety are powerful agents of transformation, they do not exclude the importance of pushing beyond comfort zones. The key lies in finding a balance between the two approaches. We can integrate gentle nurturing with occasional bold steps outside our comfort zones. The wisdom lies in discerning when to listen to our inner voice calling for gentleness and when to summon the courage to push beyond perceived limits.

Transformative Methods for Pushing Out of Comfort Zone:

Facing Fears: Confronting and challenging fears is a powerful way to push beyond comfort zones. Whether it’s public speaking, trying something new, or taking risks, facing fears can lead to personal growth and expanded possibilities.

Setting Stretch Goals: Setting goals that push the boundaries of what feels comfortable can propel us forward. By aiming for achievements slightly beyond our current capabilities, we can unlock untapped potential and foster personal development.

Embracing Discomfort: Actively seeking discomfort and embracing new experiences can be transformative. This might involve stepping into unfamiliar situations, engaging in constructive conflict, or learning to adapt to change. By embracing discomfort, we expand our comfort zones and develop resilience.

Engaging in public speaking or performing: Speaking or performing in front of others can be an effective way to challenge our comfort zones. It allows us to overcome stage fright, enhance communication skills, and build self-confidence in expressing ourselves authentically.

Traveling to unfamiliar places: Immersing ourselves in new cultures, environments, and experiences through travel pushes us beyond our comfort zones. It broadens our perspectives, fosters adaptability, and encourages personal growth through exposure to diverse ways of life.

Embracing failure and learning from it: Shifting our mindset to view failure as a learning opportunity rather than a setback can push us out of our comfort zones. Embracing failure with resilience and a growth mindset allows us to take risks, learn from mistakes, and ultimately grow stronger.

Transformative Tools Embracing Gentleness and Subtlety:

Gentle Touch: Incorporating gentle touch into our transformational journey can have profound effects. Gentle touch has the power to create a sense of safety, soothe our nervous system, and foster a deep connection with ourselves and others. It can help us release tension, emotional blockages, and stagnant energy, promoting physical and emotional healing. By incorporating gentle touch into our transformative practices, we tap into the power of human connection, compassion, and self-care. It can support us in releasing old patterns, cultivating presence, and embracing our innate capacity for healing and growth. Gentle touch becomes a catalyst for transformation, helping us navigate our journeys.

Mindfulness and Meditation: Cultivating mindfulness and incorporating meditation into daily routines allows for gentle introspection and self-awareness. These practices help us connect with the present moment, find inner calm, and foster a compassionate relationship with ourselves. 

Self-Compassion and Self-Care: Nurturing ourselves through self-compassion and self-care practices is essential for transformative growth. This includes prioritising rest, engaging in activities that bring joy, practicing self-acceptance, and being kind to ourselves during challenging times.

Reflection: Engaging in reflective practices, such as journaling, allows for the gentle exploration of thoughts, emotions, and experiences. By creating a safe space for self-expression, we can gain insights, process emotions, and foster personal growth. 

Expressive Arts: Engaging in creative outlets such as art, writing, music, or dance provides a gentle and subtle means of self-expression and transformation. These forms of expression can facilitate healing, self-discovery, and personal growth in a gentle and non-threatening way. 

Cultivating Supportive Relationships: Surrounding ourselves with nurturing and supportive relationships creates an environment conducive to growth. Gentle and empathetic connections with others provide a space for vulnerability, understanding, and shared growth. 

Small, Consistent Steps: Making small, sustainable changes over time can lead to lasting transformation. Embracing subtlety means focusing on gradual progress rather than seeking immediate, drastic changes. 

                                                                                   ***

Transformation and personal growth can be achieved through the power of gentleness and subtlety. Nurturing ourselves with self-compassion, embracing mindfulness, building resilience, and creating safe spaces enable sustainable and profound transformation processes. While pushing beyond comfort zones has its merits, it is equally important to recognise the transformative potential in approaching growth with gentleness. By embracing both approaches harmoniously, we can navigate our transformation journeys with grace and compassion.

#Gentleness #Subtlety #Transformation #ComfortZones #SelfCompassion #Resilience

Ahead of us is the New Moon in Taurus combined with a partial solar eclipse (climax at 8:28 am on Sunday).

This time can help us heal what separates us from our body and thus from being here and now and enjoying life fully.

Taurus reminds us of grounding and receiving the best out of life. Exactly – “receiving”, not “taking”. Receiving means to open up to what is, experience pleasure, and enjoy being in contact with nature and with others. It is about opening up to what is here and now, as well as what the world wants to give us at this moment, instead of struggling to “get” something else.

This process of opening up for receiving begins with letting go and relaxing. It’s good to take advantage of the time of this new moon and just before it to rest, regenerate and generally take care of your body and allow yourself to experience pleasure. It’s also a great time to awaken our sensuality and celebrate life through touch, taste, smells, and sounds…. 

Let’s enjoy the nature around us, and when more difficult topics arise, let ourselves pass them through the body, breathing, observing how the feelings are change, how we can gently release or dissolve tensions, relax and enjoy com back to the now moment.

Venus will also support us at this time, helping us to open ourselves to pleasure and love. This new moon in combination with a solar eclipse may turn out to be a “total eclipse of the heart”. Some of us will catch on to the transformative aspect of this time and strong changes, while others will be more involved in what is pleasant and romantic. The main subjects remain the same – the body and the material aspect of reality.

During this New Moon, we can also perform rituals to invite more abundance and pleasure into our life. It’s a good time to watch carefully our attitude towards the gifts that the world has for us, and what we want to change in this attitude. Before the climax of this New Moon, it is worth looking at our beliefs about finances, our attitude toward money, and our sabotaging behaviors that destroy our feeling of financial security. It’s the right time to release the old stories and tough emotions behind them.

This is also a great time to watch carefully and change if needed our habits of abuse of oneself and others, consumerism, or destructive patterns of dealing with finances and looking for our value in what is external. The transforming power of this new moon is emphasized by Pluto, which while retrograde will bring out what is hidden under the surface. These discoveries might be challenging, but if we trust our bodies, they will guide us through this. It is a strong call to return to the body and to accept what the body tells us. It is another reminder that the body is not there to adapt to our ideas and expectations, but we are here to take care of our body and listen to its wisdom. If you do so,  then you will feel at home in your body. You will feel grounded, relaxed, and supported, by your body. 

I wish you a great New Moon! Make yourself comfortable in your body, and make yourself comfortable in your life! 

Presently, I’ve been feeling quite good with my body, despite getting older and being challenged by life experiences, but it wasn’t always like that. To be honest, for most of my life I felt separated from my own body. I used to say sometimes that my body is the strongest obstacle in my life.

At that time I felt so comfortable within my mind, thinking, doing, reacting sharp and fast. I wasn’t even aware that I am also my body until I became sick or felt some discomfort of my physical nature. From that perspective, my body was only a problem. When this problem accrued I wanted to fix it as quickly as possible and come back to my ideal mental world without any physical disruption. It usually worked, so I could live my life for years without any or hardly any contact with my physical self – my body.

When did it change? When did I feel for the first time that my body is not a problem, even that it might be a solution?

In order that our body becomes a solution, we have to have a good relationship with it. It wasn’t the case for me at that time. For me the turning point became massage. Once I tried to find a quick solution for my tired, tensed body and I went for a massage session.

Back then, it was not that easy for me to acknowledge the needs of my body and open myself for an accepting and embracing touch. But it happened. I trusted myself and a person recommended to me by a friend. After that session, the first Lomi Lomi massage I’ve ever received, I felt not only more relaxed, and less tensed, but most of all, I felt more complete. Maybe for the first time in my life, I felt an alliance with my body. From that time my approach to my physical vessel started to change. More acceptance, gratefulness, and tender presence have appeared instead of the judgemental, demanding, and ignoring approach I had before. The more I acknowledged and accepted my body, the better our communication and relationship became. With time I learned to hear those ‘quiet whispers’ and understand better how my body works, what it needs, and how I can support my body, it better supports me back.

What is your relationship with your body? Is your body your ally, close and tender friend, or is it is your enemy, an obstacle in your way, or maybe you are not aware at all of its presence? Do you feel connected and supported by your physical vehicle, or disconnected, suppressed, or limited by it?  Now, these questions are part of my practice as a bodyworker and holistic training facilitator. They appear during workshops with our students, in conversations before and after massage sessions with my clients, and above all, they are still present in my relationship with my own body.

I have seen this many times in my massage practice. Sometimes my clients after lomi session with me feel energised and uplifted,
but sometimes they feel extremely tired.

It is not the massage that makes them feel tired. It is their nervous system finally unwinding so they feel themselves again.
Their muscles, with the help of lomi touch, release tensions, and they start to feel how tired they have been all the time, sometimes for many, many years.

When you are stressed, when you’re in survival mode, when you hold everything or constantly push things, you might not feel tired at all. That’s how adrenalin works. Only when you stop to rest, when you take a deep inbreath and relaxing outbreath, you can feel how tired you have been.

This is why sometimes we are so afraid to stop and take a deep breath. Then we might finally start feeling our own bodies, and all kinds of emotions carried inside. From this moment, ignoring them will not be possible anymore.

And you know, that is okay. Sometimes and for some of us, it is the only way. At least for now. When you feel tired, be aware of it and honor it. Slow down and rest. This is exactly what your body is telling you.

If you do not stop, you will be stopped anyhow by your wise body – by an injury, pain, illness, anxiety, depression, fatigue, stress, burnout.
The body has its loving ways. It first communicates with us with a gentle whisper, but when we ignore it, then it will scream. So take good care of your body and yourself, and don’t wait too long.

While traveling to North Island this year something happened to me.

Some sunny and windy day while I was visiting Karekare beach a stranger, Maori man came to me and said ‘I have to tell you something. I have two messages for you.’ Before I even asked him from whom are these messages come, he said to me: ‘Wellcome home! Do you know that your ancestors walked this land? I mean the ancestors from thousands of years ago? And now you come back here.’ That was the first message, and from that moment I started to listen to him more carefully. I owe you a small explanation at this point. When I come with my partner Rafal to Aotearoa three years ago I felt that I need some kind of ceremony to welcome this place and people and feel welcomed here. And that day it happened.

As I said there was also the second message. The second one was unclear to me then. It was as follows: ‘You have to dive deeper into your hands-on practice. It is just the beginning. You will learn or you will rather recall more and more.’

We hadn’t met before, he didn’t know who I am and what I do, I hadn’t known him at that stage. Now I know that he is a Matakite, a seer, and a healer with over 30 years of experience. He uses Karakia, energy, Wairua, and physical point work to facilitate healing. He can also see what is hidden, help bring it to the surface to create a better connection.

Now, after few months from that unexpected meeting, I think I am closer to understanding what he meant then.

Recently I started to hear and read messages from bones, about life experiences, emotions, or any other needs of the people, who I am massaging or just touching. Sometimes these messages are very precise, I just know what happened, what needs to be healed, and how to release it, or what needs to be invited. In the beginning, I struggled with it and kept these messages only for myself. I was thinking that it may be my delusions, some kind of autosuggestions I was telling myself that weren’t true. At some point, I dared myself and told my client after the session what his or her bones told me. It was a woman who came to me for the first time and I knew nothing about her. The bones told me some story she carried with her all the time. They said it is time to let go of it, how to do it and that now is the best time to do it. I told this to that woman. I told her that it could only be my imagination and ask her to take only what resonates with her and what she finds useful, and forget about all the rest. Tears appeared in her eyes, she thanked me and said that that was the true story and now she feels ready to let go of all emotions involved and go forward.

Situations like this become more and more often, after  Lomi Lomi sessions I give. Different stories, different messages, and guidance appear to be important and meaningful for my clients when I share what I have heard from their bones. I still feel some reserve and I am very cautious with sharing, and yet I feel it and hear it more and more strongly and precisely.

… One time a woman came to me with her arm in a sling after surgery.
I asked her if she could remove the sling for the massage and if I could gently include this arm into the massage. She agreed, trusted me and Lomi Lomi. After the session, she showed me how she moves her hand and she decided to not put this arm on a sling.

A man with bowel problems comes to me regularly for a Lomi Lomi session, saying that he has tried many therapies and medications and this massage is the only thing that really helps him.

I had a client in Poland who had been working on  traumatic childhood experience that essentially blocked her sexuality and, to some point, even her self-expression. Years of psychotherapy did not help her, but three Lomi Lomi sessions in a row did.
The list goes on…

…but does it mean that Lomi Lomi “helps” in all these illnesses, physical or emotional, ailments and discomforts? Does it always work? Does it help everyone?

This is how I see it. Lomi Lomi massage helps you embrace your whole being. It restores balance on many levels and allows you to re-connect with all aspects of yourself, including ability of healing. … and from that point on, it can help with everything. Really!
I know, it may sound a bit enigmatic or vague, but this is how I really feel it. It is my experience during and after each massage, no matter what my role is (giver, receiver, or even teacher). 🙂

Most people who come to me for the Lomi Lomi massages session never had this experience before. Some of them never experienced any massage before. They don‘t know what to expect. And sometimes when we don‘t know, we are afraid or feel discouraged.

Lomi Lomi, is a very special and „different“ message (that‘s what most of my clients say about it) but it’s also just a holistic, therapeutic, efficient, and extremely relaxing bodywork practice with ancient traditional background.

Although each session is unique and different from the others, they all have some structure.

Different massage therapists or bodyworkers have a bit different style or protocol, so when you get Lomi Lomi from somebody else, it might look different.  Please bear in mind that this is how I do Lomi Lomi Nui.

So, how does Lomi Lomi session with me look like?

When you come, we will start with a short talk. I will offer you some herbal tee and ask you a couple of questions – what do you need the most from this massage session? what results are you expecting?

I will ask about your health – if you had any injuries, or surgery recently, or if there is anything you want to share with me about your health or life situation. You will have time to ask me questions as well.  I will also ask You to think for a moment and settle in your mind your intention for this session, like what you want to release from your body, from your life, and what you want to invite to your body and your life instead. It might be as simple as ‘I just want to relax my tight muscles and feel more with ease in my life’ or as profound as ‘I’m in the life-transforming moment and I need some insights or guidance’. It depends only on you and you don’t have to share this intention with me.

Then I will give you some time in privacy so you can get ready for the session. Leaving the room I will ask you to think about the intention You settled previously and light a candle, then take off your clothes (to your comfort zone)* and jewelry, put your hair up if it‘s long, lie down on the massage table (on your belly), and cover your body with a pareo/sarong.

* During a Lomi Lomi Nui session, your genitals are not massaged and are covered at all times. If you are comfortable with removing your underwear, I can massage your sides, hips, and buttocks. If for some reason you want to keep your underwear on, that’s fine too – in that case, I just recommend that you don’t wear your favorite panties, as they can get oily.

If you can‘t lie on your belly (because, for example, you have some health issues preventing you from lying in this position) I will place you on your side or back.

When you are ready, lying comfortably on a heated massage table, I will come to the room and adjust your position on the table – I will bend your arms and place them next to your body, and rotate your knees and feet a little bit outwards. If you have problems with your, neck, knees, or shoulders, I will make all the necessary adjustments to make sure that you feel comfortable.

After that, I will turn on the music and begin the massage. First I will uncover you, leaving your genitals covered with a pareo. I will then apply warm oil on your body and start massaging – usually from the back, moving to the arms and legs. I will be moving your body a lot – bending your legs, stretching and lifting them gently, moving fluently your head, arms, and legs – and you don‘t need to help me in any way, you can just be and breathe.

When I‘m finished massaging your back, I will ask you to turn over:

I will first cover you again with the pareo, then give you a moment to turn, and I will continue massage on the front of your body beginning from your head and shoulders, releasing tensions in this, usually very tight area. And then I will be – again – moving your body a lot, uncovering the parts that I will be massaging  – so your arms, legs, abdomen, and chest. Breasts are not massaged in Lomi Lomi Nui, but I will uncover your chest and massage the chest bone and in-between ribs. I will also be doing under-body movements – putting one or two hands under your body and massage your back in this position. Which is extremely pleasant and relaxing and pretty unique.

The last thing I will massage will be your face.

The whole massage will be around 1.5 h or 2h depending on your chosen option and on what will happen during the session. Every massage is unique and sometimes closing the process demands some extra time.

When the massage is finished, I will cover you with a pareo, turn the music down and give you some time just to lie down, observe, and gently come back, as long as you need. After the massage, I will again give you some time in privacy so you can get dressed and take a shower if you’d like; then we will have a moment to talk if there will be a need for that. I can share with you my insights and answer your questions if some appear during or after the session. And I will offer you heaps of water 🙂 which is very helpful after any kind of bodywork and supports the cleansing process, which began during the massage session.

Book a Lomi Lomi Nui session with me

The Lomi long-stroke on the back sometimes is called the basic move. Basic, because the whole massage practically is built around this one stroke. The secret of this move is in its precision, fluidity, and appropriately applied and steady pressure. The therapist uses his or her body weight, instead of muscle strength to keep the pressure steady.
The completely relaxed and soft forearm of the therapist is very close to the client’s spine – so close that it might look from the side that it’s on the spine – but it’s not. The therapist’s forearm slides into a narrow space between the spine and the muscles of the client, pulling them away from the bones, relaxing them, and making more space to create more flexibility in this area.

My friend Magdalena from Iceland, also Lomi Lomi Nui practitioner and teacher use this metaphor while teaching her students:
‘Imagine that your hand is a boat sailing the infinite ocean of your client’s back. The stroke starts on the neck – this is your harbor, where the journey begins. Make sure that you start the journey right by sliding your hand, wrist, and forearm right in between the neck and the shoulder. Then continue relaxed hand, soft forearm, parallel to the spine. You are a boat sailing on the ocean of the body. Think of bones as reefs – you want to avoid them and stay on the soft waters of the muscles. Your forearm – the boat – gracefully maneuvers between the spine and the shoulder blade, then pivots and continues the journey perpendicularly to the spine. Slowly, with steady pressure, going deeper into the body. It travels along the spine until it meets the crest of the pelvis – this is your cliff. Let your forearm slide gently off the cliff and into the harbor on the side of the body. The journey continues. Now Flip your hand palm up, and find the gate – soft part of the hip between the pelvis and femur. Then climb up the buttock, applying steady pressure to the glutes. Continue until your forearm falls off the muscle. Then go back with a long stroke on the side of the body and get ready for the same journey on the other side. And again, again, again, slower or faster, deeper or more gentle – the endless stroke continues, as if you were drawing an infinity symbol on Client’s back.’

I teach the long stroke on the back on the second day of my training. Therefore my students have plenty of time to practice it, and completely immerse in it during giving and receiving sessions, and fully appreciate this amazingly beneficial movement.

If you want to learn Lomi Lomi Nui with me.
I invite you for a 5-day individual training in Waimairi Beach, Christchurch.

contact me